Money! Money! Money!

I’m not very proud to admit this.

Last month, my older brother called and asked me if I could send him some money because he wanted to buy a motorbike, a second-hand one, as he’s been cycling his whole life to work and to somewhere else besides to work. I promised him I would give him some money when I received my next pay cheque. So I did yesterday. He then called me today to inform me that he might be using money for something else; he has been promoted after more than 10 years of working in the army, and he had already treated lots of people. So he needed the money to pay his debt. I angrily scolded him. He said he was very sorry.

Now I’m sorry.

Why did I have to scold him? Why did I not congratulate him on his promotion, instead? Is it because of the money? Is it because I felt he was lying to me? I’m not sure.

Every time my friends back home ring, I always assume that they only have one agenda, that is asking me for help, financially. So do my siblings. I become paranoid (if that’s the right word) and cold.

Now I understand why the well-to-do people often look down on other people.

But I’m not even remotely there yet. I still don’t have my own shelter called home. I still ride a bicycle to work. I still have to borrow money from my colleague at the end of the month from time to time…How come I have already exhibited THAT attitude?

It’s the thought that counts. Right!

My boss is leaving us. As he has been a great boss, my colleagues and I want to give him something. Yeah, something. A present.

Here comes a problem; we can’t quite decide what kind of a present we should give him. We want something that is unique, locally made, not too expensive, useable, meaningful… to truly represent our gratitude to him. A Lao cotton shirt? (But we bought one for his last birthday; we have not seen him wearing it). A local painting? (But he’s leaving Laos; it’s too bulky to carry home). A wooden elephant? (The same as a painting). A post card with our signatures? The list goes on.

It’s hard, isn’t it, to choose the right present for other people?

Is it better to just buy something, anything, and give to a person? Or is it better not to buy anything at all because you can’t think of a suitable present/gift for the person? For the latter, you don’t tell the person that you can’t think of anything to give her or him. For the former, if the other person happens to like the present/gift, you are safe. If not, he or she would think you are cheapskate/thoughtless…OR should you just ask the person what he or she wants? But then again, you want to them to be surprised. People like surprises, don’t they?

That is why I sometimes ‘hint’ other people what I want for my birthday present so they won’t have a hard time to figure out what they should get me (although I seldom get a birthday present back in Laos, just in case anyone happens to care.)

Oh yeah, this is my wishing list for this year’s birthday:

1. Canon Digital Camera, 6 megapixel (at least);
2. MacBook Air;
3. Sony DSR-PD150 DVCAM

From UN-DP to UN-SW

I've been working for UNDP-supported project (UNDP stands for United Nations Development Programme) for more than 2 years now, since 14 July 2006, to be exact.

How did I get here?

Upon my graduation from the School of Community and Information, Nanyang Technological University, Singapore, in 2005, I was offered the job as a video editor at a local production house. I was happy there, nice bosses (I had two bosses) and colleagues. But working as an editor, I was struggling to do my job; I was not well equipped with this skill when I was in school. My "specialization" was "Electronic Broadcast Media." Although my bosses were very understanding and even planning to send me to attend a special course to learn more skills in editing, I felt it was time I took sometime off to really learn and master my skills. I had to go to school somewhere. I could not fund myself if I were to study at an art school in Singapore or anywhere else. The only way I could think of at the time was to try to apply for a scholarship. It was next to impossible to get the scholarship from Singapore, not to mention from overseas if I were to apply there; it was extremely competitive. So I decided to return home, Laos. My strategic plan at that time was I would work in Laos for a couple of years, then I would start to apply for the scholarships (in Laos, to be eligible for the scholarship, you have to have been residing in Laos for at least 2 years prior to your application). So I came home and got a job as a translator/radio coach working for a pilot project called Khoun Radio Support Project to establish the first community radio in Laos.

I will be leaving for UNSW (the University of New South Wales) in June 2009 to undertake a master's degree (Master of Digital Media).

How did I get here?

I was among 900-plus hopefuls apply for Australian Development Scholarships (ADS) and sat for the screening test (IQ and English). After the screening test, only 100 or so applicants passed for the first interview. Then, 93 candidates were selected to sit for the International English Language Testing System (IELTS) together with previous year candidates (who have been offered the scholarships but still need to obtain required band scores of the IELTS). I was one of hundred people sitting for this exam. The IELTS includes Listening, Reading, Writing and Speaking. Most of master's degree courses require the scores of IELTS 6.5. I got 7.0. That was enough for me to apply for a university placement in Australia. I applied for Master of Digital Media as my first choice at the UNSW's College of Fine Arts and have been accepted by the College.

Initially, I was told I would be leaving in early January 2009 together with several successful candidates. However, my course of study would only commence in July 2009. I could reject the offer and try somewhere else; this did not guaranty that my application for another place would be successful, though. I did not want to take a risk; besides, I really liked the course offered by the UNSW, I decided to accept the offer.

Am I regret it now? Nah, not at all. I still believe I have made a right decision. By staying another 5-6 months in Laos means I still can work and save some money for myself and my family. Good things come to those who wait. Right?

Waddayarekon?

PC4D!

My photo appears in WiA's (Women in Action) publication called 'People's Communications for Development'.

Its website: http://www.isiswomen.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=382&Itemid=206

Introducing my new photo blog

It's called Happy Lao Kids:
Click Here

Look! I'm famous!

Two of my photos were recently used for the article written for IRIN Asia. Check out my photos and read the article on Khoun Community Radio.

Click the link here

He ain't heavy; he's my brother

This is Hut, my youngest brother. He left Laos for USA in 1997. He was about 6 then. I had not seen him for 11 years. When I first saw his photo (today), I could not even recognize him.

I still remember when he was about to board a plane, he was crying so hard. So did my sister and me. Now he can't speak Lao. I asked him over the phone one time whether he wanted to return to Laos, he said "Not really. I have already forgotten everything there. I have no friends in Laos..."

He has never visited Laos since he left.

But I want to be a nice guy.

I hate receiving phone calls and messages in early mornings and at late nights, especially if those are from my friend's ex-girlfriends.

Back in 2005, I was in Singapore sharing a house with a friend who had a girlfriend. When the couple broke up and my friend refused to reconcile the relationship and to receive phone calls or messages from his ex, his ex kept bombarding me with non-stop phone calls and messages, all asking for a chance to talk to my friend. So what could I do then? I ignored all those phone calls and never replied to the messages.

I became a bad guy.

Back in Laos. Just a week ago, my Singaporean friend made friend with a local girl and for some reasons(mis)led her to believe that he liked her. They both exchanged addresses and phone numbers. He promised to her that he would come back to visit her again in August. However, since he left Laos, she has not been able to contact him. She called, sent messages or even attempted to write an email to him. He has not responded to her. So now she has turned to me. Nah! not for comfort or sex, of course. She calls me everyday, early mornings, late nights and sometime in between, all asking me to pass her I-miss-you-so-much-and-please-answer-my-phone message to my friend. As much as I like to help and pity her, I sometimes get annoyed by her and my friend (for misleading her and not being honest with her; if he doesn't like her as a lover, then he should just say so and not let her daydream on being a Singaporean man's wife...).

I hate friend's ex-girlfriends.

'Against The Tide' is now online! Please watch and vote.

It's not you, it's just me.

When entering Singapore on 17th April 2008, I was investigated by two Singaporean policemen. And when leaving the airport in Bangkok on 19th April 2008, I was stopped by Thai authorities.

"Please follow me," ordered by a Thai man accompanied by two Thai women at the airport.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Not much," he smiled, "What are inside the boxes you're carrying?"

"Hmm...MP3 recorders I've bought from Singapore," I replied shakily.

"We're afraid you have to open the boxes for us to see," he commanded.

I dutifully followed his order. After examination what were inside the boxes and asking several questions about my identity, he said, "I'm afraid you may have to pay taxes for those items you've bought."

"But I have already paid tax in Singapore and I've bought these items for my community radio; I'm not making money from these," I explained to him, trying to sound and look innocent as possible (you know how good I am at faking or manipulating it). " Please! I really do this for my community and I don't have much money left to go home," I begged him for 'sympathy' and 'mercy'.

"Ok, you know what? This time I will let you go. But next time, if I see you again with the bought items, you have to pay taxes, " he said, " You know why I'm letting you go this time?"

I didn't offer the answer to his question but chose to smile at him instead. Then he answered his own question:

"First, you don't know about it (that when you buy goods, you have to pay tax!); second, you do this (purchasing of equipment) for your community, and; third, because I am kind, " he concluded.

I said 'thanks' to him few times and promised to him that this would not happen again in the future. He said 'welcome' and walked away.

Please come again!

I hate washing cloths. I hate wiping the floor. I hate cleaning the toilet. I hate folding my cloths. I hate keeping my bed...In short, I hate doing my chores. I once told my friend about this. He suggested, "that's why you need to find a girlfriend and get married so she can clean the house, cook for you and wash your cloths, etc."
"Well," I replied, "if I need someone to clean the house and cook for me, I might as well get a maid- it's cheaper that way and I don't have to be stuck in bed with her for the rest of my life if she has bad breath..."

So when do I clean my house and tuck in my unwashed socks under my bed? Well, when I have a visitor or two coming to my house. Why? Because I don't want them to see/think that I'm such a pig (single, lonely, sad, lazy, pathetic...if that makes any sense) and that I'm still 'reading' FHM mag (a legacy from Singapore). After all, I'm a Singapore-educated person and working for UN! (I like the sound of the words 'Singapore' and 'UN').

When my former housemate told me that his friends would be coming for his wedding this week and asked me if I could let them sleep in my house for a couple of days, I knew what I had to do. Yeah! Cleaning the house! I hate it but this is one of rare occasions that force me to clean my house.

So if you are planning to visit me, do inform me in advance.

"Odd Couples"

Few "Odd Couples" have been identified for my documentary. Yeah! They are a government officer and a sex worker, a Vietnamese man and an English woman, a couple with disabilities, an old widower and a young girl, a Lao man and Hmong girl, a very young teenager couple...




What types of people do you consider 'odd'?

Tuesday Production House

Setting up a production house, anyone?

Sony DSR-PD150= US$3000
15" MacBook Pro= US$2000 (?)
LaCie 120 GB External Hard Drive= US$150 (?)
Final Cut Pro 4= US$1000 (?)
DVD Recorder= US$180 (?)
VCD Recorder= US$120 (?)
CD Cover Printer= US$200 (?)
Nikon CoolPix= US$280
Total= 6930

What else are needed for starting up?

My new refuge!

(View from the rooftop of my new rented house).

Movies I wanna watch.

Good movies are the ones that you like watching.

1. Atonement
2. There will be blood
3. Sweeney Todd
4. The diving bell & the butterfly
5. Cloverfied
6. Alvin and the chipmunks
7. Breath (by Kim Ki Duk)
8. The assassination of Jesse James...
9. My Blueberry Night (by Wong Kar Wai)
10. Ratatouille
11. Elizaberth: the golden age
12. Bangkok Time (Thai movie)
13. Sabaidee Luangprabang (Lao movie)
14. The Simpsons Movie
15. Bridge to Terabithia
16. Shortbus
17. The kite runner
18. I'm not there
19. Le Labyrinthe Depan (???)
20. Rain dogs
21. A scanner darkly
22. Mystic River

Play that song again, Sam

Listening to 'Bubbly' by Colbie Caillat and it reminds me of Hanoi. We (me, Yas, LY and June) were in a hotel room watching MTV with this song being shown, the night before I left Hanoi for Bangkok. The following day while sitting inside a cab heading to Hanoi Airport, this song was playing again. And for the first time, I started to miss those left behind in the hotel. This song will forever remind me of Hanoi and the time spent traveling with friends there.

I'm sure you have songs that remind you or bring back memories of things, places, emotions or people you have come into contact with or experienced in your life.

Here are mine:

- 'Music' (Madonna), 'I Wanna Be with You' (Mandy Moore), 'Only Love' (Trademark) and 'Come on Over (Christina Aguilera) remind me of the time I had in King Edward VII Hall, NUS, Singapore. These songs were popular then. I would always hear these songs on my radio set. I didn't have a computer; the only source of entertainment and information when I was in my room was from a radio.
- 'Around the World' by Aqua reminds me of NUS and its Central Library. I remember the first time I stepped out of a shuttle bus and walked into the vicinity of Central Library, there was some event happening below the library (I can't remember what it was called. It was the event to mark the opening of a new academic year where students brought stuff and food to sell and put up some performances), this song was playing so loudly there. After that encounter, this song stuck in my head and it grew on me.

- 'All I Ask of You' (The Phantom of the Opera) and 'Yue Liang Dai Biao Wo De Xin' (The Moon represents my heart) remind me of the singing class I took as an elective subject in my 3rd year in NTU. These were two songs that we had to practice singing. I performed one of these songs in front of my classmates. I was shaking and very nervous at that time. I never manage to finish the song.

- 'Electric Storm' (U2) and 'Game of Love' (Santana Ft. Michelle Branch). When I was staying at Hall 2, Jeremy and Daryl were my neighbors. Jeremy liked to introduce new hit songs to people he knew. These two songs were introduced by him. I liked Michelle Branch. And soon these two songs became regular in my WMP's playing list.

- 'One Last Cry' (Brian McKnight). I sometimes get emotional when I hear this song. Camile Velasco performed this song on American Idol. And I have been in love with her ever since. I will get married anytime soon if I find someone like her.

-Besides 'Bubbly', 'Clumsy' (Fergie) reminds me of Hanoi too.

How about yours?

I don't want to sleep alone

A girl and a man are on the phone talking to each other. After the very long conversation, this is how it ends:

A man: I hate to sleep alone again tonight.

A girl: If you don't want to sleep alone, come and pick me up.

A man (paused with a shock): Hmmm...Serious? Hey, my phone is running out of money. Bye!

Phew!

My friends have been claimed!

This is going to be a busy and joyous year for some of my friends. Why? Because they are getting married!

Next week, Nong will be the first person among us (Singapore-educated people) to get married. Her wedding is my very first friend's wedding I will have attended. And guess what, I am her cameraman for the day. Of all people in the world, she has chosen me to take video and photo of her wedding. I am very honored indeed. (Please don't say 'that because I don't charge for the service, that's why she has chosen me'. I am good. Ok?)

Next, my former secondary school classmate, one of my closest friends, is getting married in my hometown, Seno, this March. He would kill me if I didn't go. Wow! I am important and special. :)

Next in the line it will be my house mate. At the moment, he still can't quite decide whom he should marry. Damn good-looking people. They can choose. Whoever he chooses to marry, I am invited to his wedding.

And before year end, two of my dear friends in Singapore are tying the knot. And of course I am going to be there.

Who's next? Need a cameraman, anyone?

Learning to love yourself?

Is that easy? Then teach me how.

I know it ain't healthy. But lately, I didn't like myself very much. It is scary. There are so many 'should have' popping up in my head. I should have achieved this. I should have done that. I should have had those. I should have been treated better by others...These things keep me awake at night. And I can't concentrate at work.

I hope this is not a mid-life crisis.

I need to go walking.

Lao Movie Update

"Sabaidee Luangprabang", the first feature film in Laos after few decades of Lao-made movies being absent from the country. Damn it! I was hoping that I would be the first Lao movie director making and selling a feature film overseas. But wait, this movie is being directed by a Thai director! Technically, it is not entirely and purely a Lao movie. Thus, I still could be the first Lao movie director who makes and sells a feature film overseas, including Hollywood. Don't mind me; I just like to entertain myself with this thought.

Anyway, 'Sabaidee Luangprabang' is co-produced by Lao Art Media and Thai companies, including Ananda EVERINGHAM after the companies not being able to afford to pay him to star in the movie.

The leading man and lady are Ananda Everingham, Lao-Australian actor, and Khamly Philavong, a resident of Xiengkhouang province, respectively. That's right, she lives in Xiengkhouang. And she is my driver's cousin. You see, if you are famous, everyone wants to be associated with you. I always tell other people when they ask about the movie, "You know, the actress is my driver's cousin and she lives right here in Xiengkhouang!?”

The initial plot: "The plot centres on a man of Lao and Australian parentage who visits his father’s former home town of Luang Prabang, where he is struck by the beautiful nature, culture and traditions.

During his travels, the young man meets and falls in love with a beautiful girl, who seems to him to embody the character and spirit representative of Lao women, which is different from those of the where country he grew up..."

Later the plot was changed to something like "....a man from Thailand is looking for his Thai girlfriend who is running away from him to Luangprabang. While he is in search of his girl, he falls in love with a Lao tour guide and her country, i.e Laos..." Ah! Very nice!

Read more about the movie here.

It's just another day in Xiengkhouang

Cold, cold, cold...

It's almost 9 am, but the whole town is still shrouded in mist. People driving or riding on the road have to keep their vehicle's lights on.

Odd Couples

See if it will work for a documentary.

What is considered 'odd' or ' normal'?

Is love not enough?

Isn't love supposed to be wonderful thing?

Is it wrong if I'm a man to love another man?

Is it wrong if I'm a prostitute to love someone and to be loved?

Is it wrong if I'm an old lady to love a young boy?

Is it strange/odd if I'm physically disabled to love someone and to be loved?

Is it strange/odd if I'm Chinese to love a Malay girl?

Is it wrong/strange/odd.....?


On the way home one day, I saw one of my acquaintance, working at the department where my project is situated, speaking to a girl. I asked my driver (not exactly my driver; he's a project driver but he picks me up in the morning and transports me home after work. Yeah, well, I like to call him my driver): "Is that girl his girlfriend".

"Not his girlfriend; she's his wife," he replied.

"His wife!?" I asked with a surprise. "Since when have they been married?"

"Hmmm..." he hesitated. "They are not married; they just live together. You know, a girl is a prostitute."

"Are you serious?" I asked with more surprises.

"Yup. Everyone in the department knows about it but has been told to keep the mouth shut," he continued. "And he has been kicked out of the department's house because of this. He's been ordered not to bring a girl anywhere near the office or he will be sacked."

"How could that happen, I mean, how did they get together?" I asked innocently.

"Well, he was first her regular client. I guess, he was impressed with her service and got hooked...But she has given up her 'career' since they have been together," he chuckled.

The following day I came to the office and asked his co-workers about this 'odd' affair. Apparently, they have been making fun of him and his wife. He doesn't seem to care very much. This guy is ready to give up everything just to be with this girl whom 'the right mind' person would think twice to be associated with. He knows he would not be given any promotion for his job. He knows his friends will pester him non-stop. He knows his family will shun him. He knows society will not accept this. Yet he chooses to follow his heart or for whatever reason. I, for one, respect him for that.

Isn't love not enough? Who should/should not have a right or be entitled/worth to love or to be loved?

I have two friends who are 'disabled' just got married last year. Their first child was just born last month.

If I make a documentary about 'odd couples' as mentioned above (man-man, an old woman-a young boy, a government officer-a prostitute...), you think it will be interesting?

I will make one anyway- when I have equipment and 'subjects', of course.

Laos is Indochina's next hot spot!

The 53 places to go in 2008. Laos is the top on the list. How cool!

The New York Times has named Laos as number one destination to visit in 2008.

Links

Come quick before this place is over-crowded by farangs!

Sex, Beer Lao, and Lottery

Socializing or mangling with acquaintances these days has been awkward and sometimes a pain in the neck. I call them 'acquaintances' because I will never feel connected to them as 'friends'. Every time I try to have conversation with them, it always goes like this:

Person A: You have to check out that whore (prostitute, sex worker, bitch or whatever you address them) at so and so. She is new here and hot. I can bring you there tonight or now (while we are having lunch).

Person B: Have you tried (f***ed) that girl? She has big tits. I've already slept with her few times. And every time, I did more than one. You should try.

Person C: Xai, you should not torture yourself, just go and make some donation (sperm and money) to those girls.

Person D: Xai, you don't dare to sleep with a prostitute, do you? Are you gay?

Person E: Blah blah blah...sex...blah blah blah...prostitute...

And what do they do when they gather, drinking Beer Lao. Apparently, not being able to drink is socially unacceptable. If you can't drink, your colleagues or so-called friends are not likely to invite you to join them. And sometimes they will think you are not man enough for not drinking beer. "Pepsi is so for a girl,'' they would say. I'm sick of trying to explain to them how badly my liver has been damaged by this alcohol and that I can't drink it. It rarely works. Can we have fun and good conversation without influence of alcohol? I'm sure we can.

The other thing that always occupies the conversation they have is lottery. Anything under the sun and in their dreams can be translated into numbers. I don't know how they do it.

My New Year's resolutions and plans for 2008

I can't remember what the old ones were. Anyway, as always, I like to make New Year's resolutions and plans. The following are my new 'New Year's Resolutions':

*Study IELTS for AusAid- I'm applying for Filmmaking course!

*Write a short-film script- about a Lao construction worker who falls in love with a Chinese masseuse but he can't speak a word of Chinese...Ah!

*Save money and visit friends in Singapore- see you all in Singapore in November!

*Help my sister to build her house

*Write more emails to my host family and old friends- I feel so bad for not keeping in touch with them.

*Consume less Pepsi, Coke, Beer Lao, Lao whisky...

*Exercise more- I have only one body; if I don't take care of it, no body will. And if I'm sick, I won't be able to do anything.

*Read more books-Thai, Lao and English books- I need to keep my brain stimulated.

*Keep updating my blog- I hate writing but I want to be good at it.

*Have my teeth whitened

*Go for injection- my liver needs to be well taken care of.

*Visit my family- at the end of the day, sisters and brothers are the ones who love and care for me the most.

*Make new friends-when you are old, it's hard to meet new friends-they are already paired up.

*Have my hair grown- I want to feel my head full of hair again.

*Finish my food-always think about those African kids who are starving.

*Learn to make my own t-shirt.

What are yours?

........................................................................................

Beautiful, rich and famous people who were born on 18th December

Of course it's not me. I wanna be like one, though, not beautiful bit, but rich and famous.

Steven Spielberg born on December 18, 1946

Brad Pitt born on December 18, 1963

Katie Holmes born on December 18, 1978

Christina Aguilera born on December 18, 1980

http://www.celebrity-link.com/birthday_day-18_month-12.html

I ain't (Ful)bright after all. Damn it!

Blame it on my poor university results.

I did well in the Screening Test, or so I was told. So I had a reason to be happy and to believe that I would advance to the next round, an oral interview, to realise my "American Dream". I had patiently been waiting for the news. Everytime my phone rang, my heart would beat faster than normal, thinking and hoping that someone from American Embassy was calling to inform me about the interview. One week passed. Two weeks passed... with nothing to cheer about. I messaged my friend to ask. "My application didn't pass coz' I didn't do very well for my uni," came the reply. Impatiently, I called American Embassy to check on mine. "Sorry sir, your application didn't pass because you didn't even have a degree," explained the guy. "But I've obtained my degree with honour from S'pore," I insisted. " Why don't you fax your certificate to us and we will re-consider it?" So I did. One week passed with no news from him. Today I decided to call again. "Oh, sorry sir your university results were not very good in comparision with other candidates. So..." Classic!

My shattered dreams and broken heart are mending on the shelf...Now I miss Camile Valasco.

I hate feeling I'm hated.

I can’t please everyone, of course, but at least I should not make anyone loathe me, if I can avoid.

I’ve been busy for the past few weeks with constant travel to and fro Khoun district where our community radio station being established, for training. Our office is located in a town of Xiengkhouang. Few days ago my colleague called to inform me that a provincial post office had sent a notice letter to me to collect a package from Singapore within 7 days by yourself or authorizing someone to do so for you.

Having to work 8 to 5, Mon-Sat, for the past weeks, I decided draft an authorization letter authorizing my younger brother to collect that mysterious package (I was not sure whom this would be from. It could be from my former boss because I asked him to send me a certificate of employment. Or it could be from my Tuesday Group’s friends, especially Wee Liang who has sent 8 Days mags to me several times before.) with my passport.

When I returned home, I asked my brother excitedly what the package was. To my unpleasant surprise, I was told that a postman (woman, to be precise) refused to give the package to my brother; she wasn’t convinced that my brother and I were biologically related since the evidence he showed to her was an authorization letter with my genuine signature and original passport and his own identity card. She told my brother that I should be the one to collect the package myself although after being told by brother that I was away and busy, and that he should have a family book with clear photos showing that my brother and I were family.

The following day, I went to the post office having memorized some curse and swear words to shout at her. I was extremely angry. She was late. Before long I walked over to the counter after she entered. “Was it you whom my brother approached for the package?” I asked. “Yes,” she replied. “Why on earth you refused to keep my brother that package? Which part of evidence does not proof that I am not an owner of that package? I’ve written an authorization letter indicating the person being authorized with his ic number; I’ve also signed and accompanied the letter with my very own passport. Isn’t that enough?” I shouted at her although she was trying to explain. Other customers in the office were staring at me but I didn’t care; I was so out of control. “Passport is only used when you go overseas,” was her reason, “all we need to proof that you are the real owner of the package is your family recorded book with your photos and your brother’s. I didn’t keep the package out to your brother because I was afraid that later on you would come to us and ask from us again.” I was stunned with her response. How could that be possible? First of all, I’ve written an authorization letter and duly signed on it; the letter has indicated that my brother with his IC is authorized to collect the package on behalf of me. Second, I’ve given my passport book to my brother. Together with his identity card, he has presented an authorization letter and my passport book to her. And third, in order to get my passport, I must already possess an identity card; in order to get an identity card, I must already have a family recorded book. Therefore, having a passport book is much higher than having a family book. In other word, if I have a passport it means I already have a family recorded book and IC. It makes no sense to me at all that she rejected my passport over a family book.

Anyway, after my few shouts, she succumbed, or so I thought. I started to feel terrible for her and myself. She went to a kept room to get the package for me. Awhile later, she brought a big yellow envelope with her. I recognized that neat handwriting; it’s Eek’s. After long silent, I was thinking to myself I should probably apologize to her for shouting at her like that although she was absolutely ignorant about passport-family-book thing. Just when she handed the package to me, she said, “You don’t have to shout at me like this. I didn’t give the package to your brother because he didn’t have a family book to show…” And just like that, I took the envelope from her and walked away without even looking at her or saying ‘thanks’.

I left that place feeling provoked angrily. Why should I be so angry? Who is she and why should I care? She was just ignorant. I wasn’t wrong. Why should I feel guilty and sorry? Maybe, I shouldn’t think about it. Damn it.

You can't bring me down today.

I am on top of the world. I can't remember when was the last time I am so excited like this?

My friend who sat for the same Fulbright Scholarship's Screening Test as mine a couple weeks ago messaged me," hey xai I got to the next round! how abt you? you need to call them and ask." I was happy for my friend, at the same time, my heart shrank and was filled with mix emotions both excited and nervous. I wanted to know so badly if I got in but I was also afraid what if I didn't get in. Although I said to my housemate, " It doesn't matter if I didn't pass this Screening Test. I just wanted to try," of course deep inside, it does matter to me. Hey I was a scholar and graduated from Singapore, a lion city, you know. Nervous and scared I might be, I couldn't bear waiting for the results any longer. I decided to call. " How do you think you did, sir?" a person on the other end of the phone asked. " I did my best. So how did I do?" I asked. " Hmm you got 131 points (out of 150)," he responded. "Yeah? Was it good?" I asked excitedly and almost jumped inside a toilet. " Yeah pretty high," said he. " Really? It means...?" I asked for confirmation.Yes! I got into the next round for Fulbright Scholarship, you know, the scholarship for the brightest people on earth. The next round is an oral interview.Nah I don't expect too high. After all, I am not that so bright. I am just going to give by best shot and see how it goes. As the say goes " Hope for the best but expect the worst." I bear that in mind.

Why the sky is cloudy today?

Blame it on the rain. Blame it on melting ice. Blame it on uncollected rubish. Blame it on motion sickness. Blame it on workload. Blame it on...I get agitated easily and I start to worry about it. I get angry and annoyed all the time and I don't know why. And my emotions always get the best of me. I couldn't find the key and shouted angrily at the guy who was supposed to have it for me to open the studio for training. I got annoyed with my brother when he forgot to deposite rubish in front of our house for collection. I got agitated by my driver when he was late to pick me up. Where does this mood swing come from? From heat? From long journey I took? From tragic news I received about friend who raped and killed his girl? From my family members whom I sent money to but scolded at me for letting my other family members know about it? From my failure of getting accepted from AusAid Scholarship?....I can't concentrate with my work. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I can't interact with the world...I avoid my family members. I avoid my housemate. I avoid my friends....This is bad.

I'm back!

I forgot my password to access my very own blog so I couldn't update it. Now I'm back and in Xiengkhouang, Laos.

It's been almost a year since my last post. Time really flies, doesn't it?

10 things that always annoy me

When I send a text message to you and you reply few days later.

When you call or message me late at night or early morning.

When you reply to my message with shortcuts like GR8(great), B@TM(busy at the moment), F2T(free to talk), RUUP4Sx?(are you up for sex?),NIcDr$CnITlkUOutOfIt?(Nice dress, can I talk you out of it?), etc(et cetera)...

When I converse with you in English, but you keep saying 'Sorry'
You:Sorry! we must what?
Me: @#$^%&*
You: Sorry? Oh we must 'Copulate'?
Me: No, I meant 'Cooperate'.

When I offer you a seat in the bus or train, you say 'no need'.

When I am in the bus and you come up to me to check my ez-link card.

When I order food and you ask me,"eat?". Sometimes I want to say,"what I am going to do with my food is none of your business; just give me your damn food, will you?"

When I am in a taxicab and you ask me,"straight?"

When I am handed a set meal at a fastfood restaurant, you say, "Thank you and enjoy your meal" but don't even look at me.

When I bought a bottle of Vitamilk and ask you to open its cap for me; you open it and put it back.

When you give me a receipt.

When you two talk and discuss in cinema about the movie being shown.
You one:I think he's a murderer.
You two:No, I think she's a murderer.
Me(shouting):Shut up!Shut up!...(in my head, of course)

When you run around inside a library.

When you stop me for a security check.

Newspaper's headline with PUN.

When you've posted something on Friendster and it's sent to inform the rest of the world that so-and-so person has updated her/his(blog, photos,etc) on Friendster. Stop it people!

All my bags are packed and I'm ready to go...

Am I sad to leave?

Just few weeks a go I was still talking to my friends about what I would do when I got my application for Singapore Permanent Resident approved.

Just few weeks a go, my boss told me what I would be assigned to do for the next few months with the company.

Just few weeks a go, my uncle in US called and I told him he could visit me in Singapore any time this year.

Just few weeks a go, I emailed my Internet friend in Bangkok that if he even came to Singapore he could look for me.

Just few weeks a go, I joined WildFilm Singapore.

Just few weeks a go, my housemate and I were looking for a new place to move to.

But it doesn't matter anymore because I am going home.

I have less than a month in S'pore. How should I spend it?

So I've been offered a job in Laos. I'm excited, nervous and sad at the same time. I had never felt like this for a long time.

I'm excited with a new job, new place, new environment, new direction... and few more newS.

I'm nervous because I don't know how to inform my boss about me having to leave the company. I'm nervous because I don't know what to expect from the new job. Have I made the right choice? But you can't be sure or certain about everything, can you? My favourite quote:"Life is about choice; you are what you choose." So I'm gonna live what I have chosen.

I'm sad having to leave Singapore. I've never stayed this long in any place besides my own village. Friends have been wonderful; experiences have been...er..up and down(if that's the right word). But still no regrets having been here. I'm a survivor!

Things I wish(and have) to do before I leave:

Settle my PC loan
Meet up with as many former SCI classmates as possible
Say Good-bye to Nikki
Meet my host-family
Cancel my PR application
Call Tobe to tell him I'm leaving
Have a drink with Steve King at Marina Bay
Clean the house
Visit Jurong Bird Park (I've never been there)
Visit Sentosa (For photo taking)
Attend my Junoirs' convocation in NUS
Shoot friend's wedding
Have lunch or dinner with MOL's friends(Magic Of Love) and colleaques
Visit Thai market
Drink coke

Anything else I should do?

I'm missing you already.

Which is worse?

So people think I'm balding. According to my colleague, men should be worried if they are fat and bald. She looked at me and said, "Oh Sorry! But you're not fat! And you have tanned-skin."

So much pressure on my head, I decided to see a doctor. Actually I'd been eyeing on that "Male Pattern Hair Loss" poster outside the clinic below my block for quite sometime. But I was too shy to admit that I have a "problem".

I woke up early in the morning just to make sure that I could be the first person to see a doctor. I walked in. There were already few people inside. I sat down and wondered if this was a good idea. Fifteen minutes later, I walked out.

I ended work early and went back home, still thinking about the clinic. When I reached home, the clinic was still open. I walked around outside the clinic for almost 10 minutes or so, not sure whether I should go in. Twenty minutes left before it's closed, I walked in. Now there's no returning back. I registered and waited. Oh man I never felt this nervous for so long. The lady signaled for me to go in. She didn't call my name. I guess she wasn't sure how to.

Once inside, the conversation went like this:

Doc: Sawadee Krup! Which part of Thailand are you from?
Me: Er...I'm from Laos.
Doc:Oh but your name sounds so Thai...So what's your problem?
Me: Not so much a problem. It's just my hair...

After examination:

Doc: It looks very serious. This is what we call Male Pattern Hair Loss. You'd better start seeking treatment before it's gone completely...

The doctor explained the cause of my hair problem and how I could get treatment. He mentioned about pills and cost of them.

Doc: you need to take it daily for at least 1 year to see visible results...
Me: wow! any side effects?
Doc: yeah you may lose sexual urges. You can still function normal; it's just that you don't feel the urge for it.
Me: it doesn't sound so bad.


It sounds impotent to me. So I have to choose between losing hair or losing sexual desires. Very tough! But you see, I want to have my head full of hair so I can attract other human beings more. So my sex life can be improved.

Nah I'm just being vain.

Some people say just be content with what you have. And in my case I should be content with what I don't have.

There were things I’d never do again. But then they’d always seemed right.

(April-May)

Had two cans of Coke in one day. Cos “food tastes better with Coke”

Watched telly the whole weekend. Cos I hate going out when it rains.

Borrowed four books at one time from a library; never finished reading them. And always returned them late. I just don’t know why.

Watched three midnight movies in cinema in one month! Cos I’m always released from work late and need to “escape from reality” once in a while.

Wandered around a Thai market like a hooker. Cos I feel like home here.

Visited a CashConverter store just to search for American Idol CDs. Cos they sell CDs at cheaper price and I like listening to Idol CDs.

Watched American Idol on weekday and still watched its encore telecast on Sunday. Cos I am a big fan.

Had late lunch and late dinner almost everyday. Cos I’m hard-working and working late.

Ate Burger King just to get a contest coupon “UPSIZE & WIN tickets to “AMERICAN IDOL” Finals in Hollywood”. Cos I won a Nokia phone from them once and am a big fan of the Idol.

Drank four glasses of beer in one month; two glasses at a Thai Karaoke pub, one and ¾, at Marina Bay, and ¼, at Brewerkz. Cos in my culture it’s considered impolite to refuse a drink or two (beer included) when offered by a friend or someone more senior. Cos “Declining an offer is tantamount to rejecting friendship”.

Bought a T-shirt too tight and too small for my own good. Cos I thought it would show off my body (ahem). Cos’ I work hard for it (ahem).

Told a white lie about working at “Singapore Embassy”. Cos it’s fun to bluff people. And Cos I’m good at “manipulating the truth”.

Fell asleep at the wrong place and at the wrong time. Cos I’m awake at night but fall asleep in the office. Cos I suffer from insomnia and my place is near a market and clinic. Cos they start their business very early.

Told another lie (true lie) about me being from Thailand. Cos I hate having to explain that Laos is a country itself, not part of Thailand nor a capital city of Myanmar or Cambodia, for that matter. Cos it’s disturbing to learn that some people are just ignorant.

Bought newspaper from 7-Eleven instead of from a small store below my block. Cos a store owner once shouted at me in Malay in front of other customers. Cos he thought I didn’t pay for a paper. Though he apologized and patted me on the back, I’m still too traumatized to buy stuff from his store thereafter.

And list goes on…

Now I can call myself an award-winning director!

I’m so happy. I can’t contain it. And I have to share it. I feel like I’m on top of the world. Some people may say our FYP video is overrated. Hey some people don’t like it, but some people do. There are things I wish I could have covered and inserted in our video, though. For example, I should have spent one night with Mr. Leum, our main subject, on the island where he lives and fishes alone, talking to him and watching him doing his routines; then from the other side of the island, we would use our second camera to shoot. You would see a dim light from his hut against the big sky full of million bright stars. You would hear Mr. Leum talking from far with music from the radio as a background. You would hear ambient sounds from the streaming Mekhong river and the chirping of crickets. And how I wish I should have shot the scene when Mr. Leum and his daughter were having an argument; she wanted him to stay in Vientiane longer, but he just wanted to go back fishing. But well, given a chance we always wish to do things differently, don’t we?

It’s not that bad now that we won an award for our video. It gives me a sense of accomplishment however small. And it makes me want to do more documentaries or even movies. It feels great to be appreciated.

“Against the Tide”

Director: Xaisongkham Induangchanthy
Producer: Tan Wee Liang
Editor: Farah Iqbal
Sound: Foo Soo Hian

-Outstanding Documentary, 4th Annual University Student Film and TV Festival in the Greater China Region 2006, Hong Kong
-Finger Lakes Environmental Film Festival 2006, New York
-TV Mobile 2006, Singapore

What playground and library here have in commond?

They both have children running around, screaming and crying.

Oh now I look Filipino

Met a Filipino couple on the bus. I knew they were Filipino cos' they were speaking Tagalog. I knew it was Tagalog cos' I heard my Filipino friends spoke before.

They were sitting behind me. And just before they were about to alight, the guy asked me,"aRe you Filipino?"
"Nope, I am Lao."
"SoRRy!SoRRy! I thought you weRe Filipino. You look like Filipino...Have a nice holiday."

I almost got into trouble over cheap porn

I went to Chinatown yesterday. Nah I wasn't there to buy cheap porn CDs. I went there to take photos.

While I was happily snapping around, a guy stopped me.

A guy: Why are you taking photos?
Me: Just to keep for myself.
A guy: Just take! Show to the police! Let them catch us! You know, other sellers won't be very happy!I can't guarantee you something might happen to you. And please don't blame me for that. We're earning the living here!...

I did take photos of the place, but none of my photos shows any one of porn-VCD shops. I walked away and the guy was still mumbling.

The rest of the day, I just tried to stay in the crowd. Just in case, the guy sent someone to hurt me. You never know. Some say Thais are the most friendliest people on earth. But I say they are also easily provoked. When they are angry, they can do unthinkable things. It's pretty scary.

Lesson learnt: be sensitive when shooting photos. Ask if not sure.

FYI, at Chinatown, there is a small lane on Chareunkrung Road selling pirated VCDs and DVDs of all kinds of movies, from Chicken Little to Deep Throat. Sellers shout"Porn! Porn! This way! This way! Newest VCDs! Japanese, Farang, Thai...Cum! Cum!" They are not shy about it and not even trying to be a little bit subtle or discreet. If you have been to JB, you know how the sellers there try to sell porn VCDs. But here at Chinatown, the sellers just put the stuff on display on a walkway. Everywhere you turn, there porn VCDs! And 2 VCDs for B100. This is overwhelming!

Oh there are police patrolling around that area. I am sure they know what's happening on the street. The porn-selling guy shouldn't have been mad at me at all.

Swaddee Bangkok

I can speak Thai and I'm proud of it. So when I visit Thailand, I speak it whenever I have a chance, with Thai people, of course.

On Thai Airway

Thai Flight Attendant: What would you like to drink, sir?
Me:(try to impress) Kho Coke Krup(in Thai, let me have Coke)
TFA:Coke, is it?(English)
Me: Khob Khoun Krup(still try)
TFA: You're welcome.

At Khao San Road's street noodle stall

Me:(after finished eating) Thao Rai Krup?(in Thai, how much)
Thai lady:Four-ty Baht(English,You Thai?
Me: Phome Khone Thai Krup(Thai, I am Thai).
Thai lady: Ao Neuk Wa Khone Khamen(oh I thought you were Cambodian).

Oops.

Still on Khao San Road

I was looking for a place to stay and asking guesthouses around. All seemed to be fully booked. I am not sure if that was really a case. The guesthouses don't accept locals. They might just say the rooms were full because they thought I was Thai. So I tried to speak English. After my second try, I got a room.

Now at Khao San Road, I speak English first, then Thai, and follow by Lao. Hey there are lots of Lao people here. There happens to be one Lao at the guesthouse I am staying now.

Like me who like to show of that I can speak Thai, locals like to speak English whenever they have a chance.

How ironic, Thai try to speak English with me. While foreigners speak Thai with me. The bad news is foreigners also tend to ask for direction from me because they think I am a local.

Today I went to King Palace, one Farang asked me where the toilet was and thanked me in Thai later.

Being able to speak Thai and looking like one has an advantage here in Bangkok. Admission to King Palace for foreigners is 250B(about S$10 plus). It's free for Thai. And I can enter without fee. All I need to do is walking straight to "For Thai tourists" Gate. And if the guard asks me, I just say a word or two in Thai. Problem solved.

And local people won't chase after me and beg me to buy things from them. I think foreigners are annoyed by this practice. No one has ever tried to chase after me, except when I take pictures and they want to see what has been captured. Other than that, they just ignore me. I am like one of them.

I fall in love with this place already. I can switch my personas as I like, be it Farang, Thai,Lao-Isan(those who live in Northern East who speak the same language as Lao), Southern Thai(Thai people in South who look like Malay), Khamen(Cambodian), Lao.

Khob Khoun Very much!

Advanced B-day Celebration

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Originally uploaded by Xaisongkham.

Happy 30th Anniversary

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Originally uploaded by Xaisongkham.

One Night Stand at Marina Bay

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Originally uploaded by billabonque.

I love you so much. I have to kill you.

"The greatest creation is the life you lead." From Tarnation

"If you can't cry, speak. If you can't speak, smile. If you can't smile, just keep quiet then." From A very Long Engagement

"When two people know each other too well, it's time they broke up." From Lan Yu

(Lisa to Matt in the kitchen) "Faster" From 9 Songs

I won't quit.

I'm just tired.

You are right. Things will only get better for me. I just need to work hard and be patient a little bit more.

I don't wanna die of starvation

Still have to work at the cafe for the time being. Just realized that the amount of money I would get from my Telemarketing job couldn't cover my rental fee. I worked for 3 weeks but earned lesser than S$300? Fuck! someone's cheating me! Should have kept my time-sheet. Shit!

Went to a Thai market twice this week. What was I doing here again?

Boss just told me about a couple who just checked in this afternoon,"You know why they look so tired? Hehehe they've been doing IT since this afternoon.Hehehe..." "Which room are they staying?" I asked.

At Embassy. was told not to work too hard. Funny boss and friendly colleagues I work with. Stayed late in the office for the past few days, but no complaint so far.

Before 52 kg. Now 49 kg! Really have to eat breakfast and dinner from now on.

Work hard and won't be starving. Cheers!

If you work like a slave, you will earn like a slave too.

Met Kelvin for lunch. You know CS Kelvin? Nice and helpful guy. We talked a lot today more than we did during 4 years in school.

CS updated: Mag got married!

Went to MediaCorp to collect a jacket and pants for Gurmit Singh for a Sunday shoot.

Bombarded with Heart-Lander promo video(MUST-SEE TUESDAY) while taking bus to and fro work. So very annoying.

Got a new kid at the cafe. I have to train her. She works a full-time as a sale lady at Cityhall by day and works part-time at a cafe by night. She stays at Bedok. Just FYI.

Haven't told my boss about me wanting to stop working. Still don't know how to start. Stupid me.

Looking forward to this Sunday gathering.

a video editor by day, a cafe boy by night...

I am on probation. Started working today at Embassy Production as a video editor. Holland Village!

Dragged myself to Bugis for a cafe job from Holland Village. Was late for work for the first time since started few months ago.

Was asked by an Embassy boss to stop any part-time job and just focus on video editing. Problem is how am I gonna tell my cafe boss? Been lying to her, to be honest. Told her few weeks ago that I got a full-time job at Bugis as a telemarketer; I was hoping that I could stop working at her cafe. She gave me night shift work instead. It wasn't bad when two part-time jobs were near to each other; I could just walk from a telemarketing company to the cafe. Now I've been offered a real full-time job at Holland Village. How am I gonna tell(lie to) her? One crew just left the cafe today for his NS. Another one is sitting for her exams this week. She's gonna kill me if I tell her that I wanna quit now.

Was upset with my CD player last night. It can't play my pirated-Thai CD anymore.

Haven't talked much to anyone I know this past week. Messaging doesn't count.

Gonna try to sleep early tonight. Gonna have hard time getting up early for a new work. *sigh*

Talk to me nicely and I will kiss your ass.

I don't mind over-working and being under-paid as long as I enjoy the work. I am not shy to say I am hard-working and responsible. But please don't shout at me or use FUCK-FUCKING-FUCKER words when talking to me. Tell me nicely and I'll even kiss your ass.

Just another day in Singapore

Got my weekly pay and went to Golden Mile Tower to watch The Wayward Cloud. Just wanted to treat myself after a long week work. Was asked if 21 yet when showed the pass. Felt disappointed a bit after the show. Walked out from the theatre last; didnt wanna be perceived as a pervert. Would feel like a film buff though if watch it at the Orchard Cineleisure.

Had a nice dinner at Thai market. Will do this often after work. Bought few CDs and books. Guilty a bit.

Housemate just got back with his girlfriend. Pesistance works wonder this time. Happy for them. Jealous though.

Got my old washing machine replaced. Tried out but later learnt after washed that I had left my tissue in one of my pants. White tissue was all over my cloths. Oh crap.

Happy National Day

Slept more than 12 hours and woke up with no news from two interviews I went to last week.

Turned on TV and National Day song being played again.

Wanted to do laundry but a washing machine didnt work. So had to wash by hand.

Housemate just broke up with girlfriend.

Went to a gathering in NUS. Friends still made fun of my singlehood and kept asking if I was gay.

On the way home, cafe boss called to scold me for breaking a cup the other day. Worse, the phone died while she hadn't finished lecturing.

God Bless Singapore.

Sometimes love and sex ain't enough in relationship...

I did everything just to be with you.
I would do anything just to please you.
I will do anything just to please and be with you.

But you said you were not mine to possess.
You said I was too jealous, and you were tired of it.

So we broke up.

At Call Center

Case #01

There is a lady with heavy make-up and a heavy American accent who also speaks the loudest of them all in the company I've been working at; when she doesn't answer the phone, she talks about her so-cool-boyfriend. When her friends have a chance to say somthing, her comment is always "THAT'S HOT!"

But that is not an annoying part. The annoying one comes when she answers the phone.

"Goodmorning!Thank you for calling; this is Rachel, how can I help you?......Have a great day, Mam! Bai Bye!" She puts down the phone and turns to her friend, "She's such a bitch! You know, she kept asking the same questions, very annoying!" Then the phone rings.

"Goodmorning! Thank you for calling, this is Rachel,how can I help you?....."

THAT'S HOT!

Case #02

Another lady sitting behind me picks up the phone:

"(With an American accent)Goodmorning! Thank you for calling. This is Joyce. How can I help you?(Pauses a bit, then replies with a heavy Singaporean accent)Like that hah? Is it?...OK we got free gift for you. You can collect your free gift next week because our free gifts are out of stock this week..."

Sometimes I wanna shout,"OK I got it! Stop your free gift already."

Case #03

There is also a Lao guy who can speak Thai, or so he claims, working under the same company as two forementioned ladies. He rehearses saying a Thai name before making every single call.

Lao guy:"(In Thai)Sawaddee Krab! May I speak to Khun Chanthana(he pronounces it as SHANthana), please?"

The other end:"It's Chanthanna(she corrects her name. CHAN should be pronounced as JAN not SHAN)Ka!

SHANthana is associated with a female-factory worker. All thanks to a popular song titled SHANTHANA. The song is about a girl named SHANTHANA who has to work in a factory for a living. Because its popularity, Thai people associate this name, SHANTHANA, with a lady who works in the factory. CHANTHANA, on the other hand, is a name for more high-class people.

The other end:"(continues)May I know which part of Thailand are you from? You don't seem to speak Thai clearly."

Lao guy:"I'm not Thai. I'm Singaporean but have been learning Thai for two years."

The other end:" Wow! Is that so? Your Thai is very good."

Lao guy: "Yeah.Well..."

Call Morris at 96345645 if you ever need a massage.

A guy approaches me at a Holland V bus stop.

A guy: Hi fren. You speak English?

Me: Yeah. Why?

A guy: You wanna get a massage? I do a massage for guys at my place...

Me: Nope.

A guy: My fren, where are you from?

Me: Thailand.

A guy: My name is Morris. If you have friends who wanna get a massage, call me. You wanna take down my phone numbers?...I live alone at Yishun.

I can't say THANKs enough.

You have made some people very very happy. Thank you so much:

Adrain
Alvin
Dawn
Dianah
Edwin
Farah
Janet
Kok Kuan
Isabel
Qiyun
Marcel
Lian-Yi
Pan Liang
Rauda
Reza
Samantha
Simon
Soo Hian
Vika
Uma
Wanchurn
Wee Liang
Yasmin
Zhiwei

Pay
Touk
Dong
Mee
Onn

Have I missed out anyone?

I hope I can do the same thing for you, someday, somehow...

Welcome to Ang Mo Kio

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Originally uploaded by Xaisongkham.

Market and Foodcourt

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Originally uploaded by Xaisongkham.

Welcome to my house

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Originally uploaded by Xaisongkham.

Please come in

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Originally uploaded by Xaisongkham.

You are a visitor no 34

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Originally uploaded by Xaisongkham.

Bathroom and toilet are on your left

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Originally uploaded by Xaisongkham.

Please make yourself at home

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Originally uploaded by Xaisongkham.

Hungry? Let's go for lunch.

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Originally uploaded by Xaisongkham.

Thank you for your visit. Please come again.

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Originally uploaded by Xaisongkham.

Security Check my Ass!

My siblings and I were heading home from Sentosa,thanks to TUesday Group, and out of the sudden, we were stopped by two security guards who stationed inside Harbour Front MRT."Sorry sir, could we check your bag," commanded one of them. They were armed with a pen each. "Why you stopped us and not others?" asked me. " It's just a random check, sir," said he. "But why us? Is it because of our appearances?" I was irritated. I wasn't trying to be difficult; I was just a bit embarrassed inside MRT and in front of the crowd rushing home from Sentosa. "No sir, it's just a random check. Please open your bags," he pointed his pen to our bags. My sister looked terrified and embarrassed. Inside her bag there was her wet-cloths. "Please open the plastic bag...Ok. Thank you." We walked away after "security check" and my sister asked me what it was about and why they had to check us. "Maybe they were afraid we're illegal immigrants," said my brother.

I've got nothing against this so-called security check;I just feel irritated and insulted by the fact that people still stereotype or classify other people by their appearances and races. Only dark-skinned people commit a crime? Only average or below-average-looking people do evil things?

Oh how naive are you! If I were a bomber, I wouldn't carry my bag around looking suspicious.

My best shot

P1010462
Originally uploaded by billabonque.

Why do I look so happy?

I hate the first day at work.

Frustrated and lousy! That's how I feel every time I start the first day at work.

Today I started working at Teleperfomance; I had to call Thai customers in Thailand. Although I can speak Thai reasonably well, I haven't spoken for ages. And the opposite me was a native-Thai lady; I was nervous like hell. I mixed Lao with Thai words from time to time. Luckily no one around me understood Thai, except the Thai lady opposite me. Damnit.

My family portrait

My family in Savannakhet
Originally uploaded by billabonque.

We never hug each other. And we never utter love to each other. But we know we love and care for each other. Poverty tears us apart physically. But we know we'll always be together. And I am glad I have a family to call my own. One day I hope we will all live under one roof once again.

Last night I dreamt about you again.

How many of you dream about someone or something constantly? I've been dreaming about my parents almost every single night for the past 10 years or so. My mom passed away on Feburary 2nd, 1992, and my dad, July 1998.

And two years ago, I lost my friend who was very dear to me. Since then I've been dreaming about him.

These three persons appear in my dreams again and again. They come and go; I smile and cry, in my dreams.

Love and miss you so much.

A house is not a home if there is no one there.

I've just moved into my new house! The coolest house ever, literally. Owned by one of MPs in Ang Mo Kio, the shophouse, where I'm living now, is located in the heart of Ang Mo Kio. It's surrounded by the police station, market, food stalls, ATM, 7-Eleven, swimming pool, Bishan Park...How cool is that?

Although the house is still messy, we have more and less all stuff that we need; we bought and some people donated to us.

But the sad thing is I always come home late at night, wake up late in the afternoon, and go to work until late at night. And repeat. My housemate goes to work early in the morning and goes to bed pretty early in the evening. So we haven't seen each other at all since we've moved in. Our mode of communication? Via written notes, FOOD IN THE KITCHEN, posted on the door, and phone messages. Our new house is simply a place for resting for now.

Shit! It's been almost a week and my room is still messy.

Lao movie? Really?

New Lao movie to release in July
Khonesavanh Latsaphao

The Lao National Film Archive and Video Centre held a press conference yesterday in Vientiane to say it will screen a new Lao movie next month after its filming was completed.

The film has been made to welcome the Second Party Congress of the Ministry of Information and Culture and the ASEAN Ministerial Meeting scheduled for July 24-29.

“This movie will not be free to the general public because movie producers are raising funds for future productions,” said the archive's Director, Mr Bounchao Phichit.

The movie titled Leum Tua will play for three days at 8:00 pm , July 16-18, at the National Culture Hall; tickets are priced at 10,000 kip for adults and 5,000 kip for children.

“The movie is about a man named Kienphet, who participated in the Lao national fight for liberation, but has forgotten everything that he did,” said Bounchao.

In the movie, the Lao government appoints Mr Kienphet, after the Lao liberation, to an important directorial position at the Lao Construction Enterprise in Vientiane . But he doesn't do any work, instead spending his time drinking beer and wooing the girls of Vientiane .

“We spent 18 days producing this movie which we started filming at the end of 2003. The movie was delayed as many actors in the film are Ministry of Information and Culture officials and were very busy,” said Mr Bounchao.

The movie's production costs totalled 35 million kip; all the actors in the movie are veterans.
The producers admit that Lao people would have preferred to see new actors in the movie, but because of budget limitations, they were not able to afford them.

“I want Lao people to watch this movie, so that we can earn money to produce more movies,” said Mr Bounchao.

Only six Lao movies have so far been produced, although there is a demand for them. Lack of funds have proved the deterrent factor.

Source: http://www.vientianetimes.org.la/ (01-July-2005)

It's too much.

You guys are thinking of sponsoring my brother and sister's trip to Singapore? You must be out of your mind!

Of course, I've always wanted them to attend my Convocation. And I wish I could do that myself(read: my own money). It's very moving, and I'm speechless and delighted to learn that you guys want to help. I'm happy not because of what you do for me(want to bring my siblings here), but because of what you could and would do for me. I'm really thankful for it.

As much as I like to see my brothers and sisters attending my Convocation, I don't want to cause any more trouble. I've already owed you all so much.

Really appreciate for all you've done for me. Thank you and thank you.

I'm really touched.

Imagine you live overseas with no job, money and relatives. You have bills to pay--housing rental fee, phonebill,etc... You don't want go home because it would take ages to pay your loan, if you are to work there. So you've decided to keep on struggling.

I've been doing just that. But friends of mine have been so kind to me; they offer me without me asking, money, cloths, food, and even accommodation. I've been so lucky having you all as my friends. I really want to thank all of you for your caring thoughts and helping hands. Without you guys, I don't think I could cope with rather difficult time in my life. I couldn't ask for more. Thank you.

Fuck! I'm still in deep shit!

I'm moving out this Saturday to Ang Mo Kio. Excited I may be, but I start to worry more than ever. I still work in a small cafe at Bugis which I earn 30-40 bucks per day; I pay 4 plus dollars a day for transport, and 8 plus dollars, for food and drink. If I were still under scholarship, I wouldn't worry so much. I've done some calculation: if I work 5-6 days a week and 6-8 hours a day, I'll earn about 600-700 plus a month. Then s$80 plus is for transport, and 200 plus for meal. So s$700 minutes 300=s$400. My phonebill is about 40 plus and my rental fee, 450. So plus and minute, I still have s$200 of bills left unpaid. Shit!

Don't ask or tell me "Have you tried to apply for this and that...? or Don't just limit yourself to media-related jobs..." I've applied for all kinds of shit but can't even get any reply. Yeah I'm desperate and frustrated. Having graduated from Mass Communication and being a foreigner in Singapore just suck.

You don't know my name, do you?

It's a shame that we'd been studying in the same course and same school for 4 years and we didn't even talk to each other or know the names of each other. What's wrong with you?

Some of my classmates, whom I call hi-bye friends 4 years a go, are now still hi-bye friends. Maybe I shouldn't call "friends", it's too privilege, "known people" would be a proper term to use. But then again, I don't really know them. I shall just call them "classmates" then.

I was in university in Laos for less than 2 years but I know all my classmates. And I mean "know". I know their names, to say the least. We talked to each other and became very close. Until these days, many of us still keep in touch via letters, emails and online chat.

In Singapore, to be honest, I doubt if I can name 30 people out of my 100-plus classmates. Blame myself? Yeah probably. My friend once told me, " You're not here to make a friend. Just focus on what you're doing..."

Just give you some idea. My friends don't want to go for a gathering organized by the school every Thursday, 1st week of each month. " It won't be fun because people will just hang around with their own clique," said my friends. That's exactly what happened during our school days; people grouped themselves with their own friends. People just didn't mingle. They said 'Hi' and 'Bye' when they couldn't avoid each other at the corridor or at the lift. I remember someone wanted to organize an after-graduated party, but it didn't pull off because only few people were interested.

I'm sure my school mates are nice people, especially Tuesday Group people, of course. I just don't get a chance to get to know many of them. It's a pity.

Oh how I wish you could be here.

I wish I got a high paid job so I could save enough money before my Convocation...so I could buy a pair of tickets for my brother and sister to come and attend my Convocation.

I wish I were rich so I could buy a pair of tickets for my brother and sister to come and attend my Convocation.

Oh how I wish I could buy a pair of tickets for my brother and sister to come and attend my Convocation.

Wish you were here again

Lao students in Singapore :(Clock-wise,L-R, Tou, Lui,Yon,Tik,Kheg,Pay,Khone,Nong,Bro Khone,Hat,Xai,Seang,Pack,No-no,Ting ,Toung,Pha,and Bro Sin).

Kheg

Kheg, a young and bright Lao kid.

Self-Promotion Me

Me

I tried

LSIS: I tried to create a homepage for Lao students in Singapore but couldnt complete. Laziness always gets the best of me.

Iron Lady

Tou, the first Lao student who graduated from Singapore. And also the best cook from Laos.

Pay

Pa y , the best badminton player among us.

Mysterious job

Having been rejected and broke, I decided to look for a part-time job. I checked Classified and went for three interviews in one day, all waitering jobs. I was rejected immediately for the first job after I told them I wasnt Singaporean nor PR. I was told to wait for a call for a second interview if I were selected, for the second job. After learning that I was a foreigner, a manager of restaurant, the third job, said honestly that he couldn't or wouldn't want to hire me. I insisted that I could work under my Student Pass. He then asked to see my Pass; he examined it thoroughly and read out loud, "You are not allowed to engage in any form of employment." Oops!

The next day, I got a call from someone whom I barely remembered I've applied for a job with; she asked me to come for an interview the same day she called. I learnt later that she wanted to meet me because the other person who was supposed to come for the interview backed out. I have no idea why she wanted to meet me at Cityhall instead of at her "Bugis Cafe". But I didnt dare to ask. Throughout the interview, she kept asking about my situation and how she could help while refusing to answer when asked about her "Bugis Cafe". She described it as a small and cosy cafe. "Our cafe is different from normal cafe like Starbuck cuz you are not only expected to serve a coffee but also to interact with customers," she emphasised. Interact with customers? Hmm what kind of a cafe is that? I thought to myself.

I went back to my school without any expectation for this job because I was too excited about the next week interview with MediaCorp. And then at 10 plus, the lady called to ask if I was still interested to work for the cafe. " Just come and work for 4 hours tomorrow. We'll see after that if we could work together,'' she said. "Sure. Do you provide a uniform?" I asked. " Nope we dont have a univerform. You can wear shorts, you know, beach wear with sandals cuz our cafe has no air-con," replied she. "Oh cool! May I know the name of your cafe," asked me. "Hmm...We dont have a name, you know, it's just a small cafe. But dont worry, you can find us easily. Look for a cafe with green wall and wooden chairs," she said. Then she gave me a direction how to get to the cafe. Up to this point, I started to suspect something didnt seem right. Why is she so secretive about the place? Does Cafe do an illegal business? The job ads on Classified dint give much information about this place either. It ran like this "Bugis Cafe looking for fun staff, full/part-time, email....@yahoo.com". A little suspecious and scary but I wanted to know so I agreed to go and work the next day.

I told few friends of mine, "Could you call me tomorrow after 6 pm to check if I am O.K." Then I gave all details about the lady and her contact no so if anything were to happen to me, my friends could report to the police. My friends laughed about this and said I was over-reacting. Yeah better be safe than sorry, right?